my eyes open

/

I love that moment when I’m Dog Dancing, and with no thought or decision, my eyes open and all of a sudden I'm taking in the world.

I also love that sometimes my eyes never open, and I stay tucked inside my internal landscape, which is so wonderfully curious to me. Hours of a quiet articulation of the body in space, sequencing through some sort of cellular memory of a world.

That I didn't want to, almost couldn't, open my eyes while I was Dog Dancing -- this scared me, for a long time.

Dog Dance -- the whole thing -- scared me actually.

I was scared that I wasn’t working hard enough in my dancing. I was scared that I was taking the easy way out in my slow roll, eyes closed, breath deep and long, content and open in myself and my body.

Where was the push, the exertion, the out of breath, the flying through that I had loved, for almost my entire life? 

For years, while finding this dance I call Dog Dance, I would “pop out” of my “in” to get back to what I knew, because this slow way of working, this quiet sort of dancing, this sometimes still for a long long time kind of being —  it FREAKED ME OUT.

It felt like a kind of betrayal to who I was as an artist, a maker, a dancer, a performer, a choreographer, and especially a hard worker.

This fear has slowly diminished, and now, for the most part, I am able to trust my own process within Dog Dance:

  • My eyes will open when and if it's time.

  • I will stand up and begin moving big, when and if it’s time.

  • I will outwardly express through my dancing, when and if it’s time.

And if it’s not time, and I:

  • Never get up off the floor.

  • Roll slow for the 1, 2, 3, or 4 hours I am dancing.

  • Keep my eyes closed.

  • Am still more than I am moving.

  • Stay at the same pace when I am moving, the whole time.

If I'm curious about all of that, and if I'm connected to myself and my experience, I’ve decided it’s an okay — even wondrous way — to dance.

Dog Dance is one of a handful of experiences and practices that make sense to me right now.

It moves and propels me forward, and it is one of the ways I am able to understand my place in the world.

So I'm Dog Dancing through this time, whatever this time is.

I assume and hope I will continue to Dog Dance for a long long time.

On another note, I have some exciting news:

I've been accepted intoThe Chinook Fund’s Giving Projectfor the Fall of 2020!

I can’t wait to get started, and also, I'm a little nervous, because I mean, this:

“Chinook Fund's Giving Project intentionally brings together a diverse group of approximately 25 individuals who are passionate for social change. In eleven facilitated sessions over the course of six months, this cohort explores a shared racial justice and class analysis, then receive training in grassroots fundraising and Chinook's democratic grantmaking model. They put their newfound skills to use by working together to raise and grant out funds to organizations that build power for social justice across Colorado.”

We start in September, so I’ll keep you posted on how it goes :).

Also, I’ve decided on the place we will be giving to next, and I"m really excited about it(I’ve also decided to let this next collective giving run through July and August, so that it isn’t so rushed).

Juliette Lee, The Program Director for The Giving Project, sent me a list of places she thought would be good for our little group, and I choose this one from that list: Young Aspiring Americans for Social and Political Activism.

In her comments about YAASPA, Juliette said: “BIPOC led, youth organizing work. They are INCREDIBLE.”

Sounds good to me!

100% of the funds raised through the Sunday Dog Dance Class will go to YAASPA, for the months of July and August.

If you are not taking the Sunday Dog Dance Class, but would still like to be part of this collective giving, you can donate byclicking here.

As I've done before, I'll pool all of our donations and send one big check from all of us to YAASPA on September 1st, 2020.

Oh, and if you'd like to join our Sunday Dog Dance Class, email me and I'll send you the info.

My brother-in-law, Mark, emailed me this quote last week. I thought I'd share it with you:

"Do your little bit of good where you are. It’s the little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world."-- Desmond Tutu

With love,
Joanna