Just heard this

Austin Channing Brown.

Talking about dancing right now is hard, and yet, as I work to decompartmentalize my movement in the world, dancing feels wholly necessary. 

Talking about dancing right now feels distracting, and yet, as I listen to those around me, I feel in my body that dancing is what continues to open me up to listening.

Talking about dancing right now feels muddled, and yet as I dance, as I listen to my breath,

Inhale
Gap
Exhale
Gap,

I learn so much. 

I quiet so much, so that I may listen.

When I dance, I unwind, and then I integrate into presence so that I am able to connect with our world and all that is happening in it.

Regan Byrd said something in our discussion group this week that's really stuck with me. She said that moving toward becoming a white ally is not about checking off all the items on the "I'm a Good White Ally" list.

But that moving toward becoming a more effective and resilient white ally means learning about systemic racism, white supremacy, and oppression. And, it means understanding how I, as a white woman, perpetuate that system, possibly unknowingly, possibly with good intention, and yet still I am perpetuating a system that is built on the violence, oppression, and disenfranchisement of those with black and brown skin.

Within that learning, I am listening.

And within that listening, I am practicing.

• Practicing discernment about when to be quiet and when to speak up.

• Practicing letting lots of impulses pass about what action to take or what words to say, until an impulse lands, so solidly at my feet, that I must act. I must speak.

• Practicing how to "Build the capacity to care more about others than you care about your own ego. Will you choose to protect someone else over protecting your own ego?” — Austin Channing Brown.

When the time comes to act quickly and instinctually, and when Imustspeak up, immediately, and when I muststand with, immediately, and protect those who are being harmed, I hope that my body, mind, heart, soul, and skin will be ready to respond, because I've been practicing.

This, at least, is how I interpreted what Regan was talking about when she said to us, the white women in our group, “Stop checking off the list, and start building your skill.”

So….dancing.

I almost cancelled class last week.

I couldn’t imagine how we would dance.

I couldn’t imagine how we would gather — over zoom — to talk about what is going on in the world right now — the complexity, terror, and relentlessness of it, and then….dance?

But we did.

After we talked, we danced.

And after we danced, we talked some more.

This dance, this Dog Dance, that a small group of us practice each week, it was quiet and delicate -- tender -- also reaching and true.

It was breath and body, curiosity and sensation, connection and vulnerability.

~

Thank you to all who have sent me videos, articles, books, talks, and actions to take right now. Please keep them coming, and know that I am sifting through everything, slowly.

Today I'm going to send this article:

How Do We Change America?

If you'd like to take a concrete action and you live in Colorado, email me and I'll forward you info about two that I know of that are currently circling around.

In solidarity as we dance, through the practice of listening.

With Warmth,
Joanna