Oy vey. I’m in shut down mode.
The news, the feeds, the fights, the gluttony, the lack of vision.
The ignorance, intolerance, and idiocy boggles the mind and stills the blood.
That is why I found myself standing stark naked in front of the mirror at 3am this morning, wondering how to stop the descent and droop of my mammaries (tape? staples? string? a tiny little table underneath?) not because I actually care (fine, I care a little bit), but because it’s a distraction from what is really swirling around in my head, at this hour.
How fucking preposterous is it that I am wasting time worrying about what my body looks like when there are human beings, who share this planet with us, who cannot move freely through space, in the way that they want and desire (I apologize for using the word fucking. I try to stay away from that sort of thing in these rants, but I just can’t this morning. I’m too tired, too confused, and too flummoxed to find another form of expression right now).
That’s the waking up at 3am, and again at 4am, and then 5am:
I can move, however I want, whenever I want, in whatever way I want, drooping chest puppies or not.
I can explore, research, and take time to ponder the layers and layers of existence that reside within me and between the worlds, with curiosity and calm.
As a white, middle class, jewish woman, with heterosexual tendencies, living in a small mountain town of under 300 in the mountains of Colorado, right outside of “progressive” Boulder, I can move freely, with delight, awe, and intrigue.
I can follow the cellular unfolding that is taking place beneath my skin, with freedom and without fear.
I can be in relationship with the larger questions surrounding existence and being, with freedom and without fear.
I can gather with whomever I want, whenever and wherever I want, with freedom and without fear.
Why can I do all of these things when others cannot?
Yesterday morning, I woke up and thought about quitting the dancing and doing something that was…..what?
More to the point?
Then I went to teach my weekly class, and as always, I was moved beyond words, and become a giant puddle of goo on the floor as I witnessed the most elemental components of humanity revealed in time and space:
The emerging patterns, so like those found in nature. The back and forth of staying in integrity with one’s own internal experience, one’s own breath. The slow, and sometimes spontaneous, building of relationship; the breaking down, and building back up again. The sensation of movement, commotion and uproar, and then….stillness.
And I settled back, once again, into my role in this little life, as improviser.
Is it relevant?
To the point?
God, I don’t know.
I just know, that on some unseen and illogical plane of existence, improvisation, dancing, and imagination contain seeds of what needs to be practiced and refined to move this planet, and our humanity, forward.
We must find the cellular movement patterns in our own beings so that we can push into that tipping point and watch it topple over with a crash, so that all of us, every single one, can move freely in space and across borders, without fear.
Your dance mission for the week is to move from your cells for one whole hour!
It’s a total no-no to give you such a big “to do” in the land of email newsletters (I can hear the gods and the rule makers shaking their head in dismay. “Have we taught you nothing woman?”), but I think you can do it.
In fact, I know you can.
Here’s a song that goes for almost one whole hour:
Listen wisely, grasshopper, listen wisely.
Insight without action isn’t worth much, so take this time, truly, to dance.
Notice your breath, and let your cells lead you.
Let me know how it goes by commenting here.
And then share this newsletter with a good friend.
The kind of friend you spend hours with - talking and laughing, crying even, wondering about the world, and your place in it - together.
Then they can sign-up to get their very own newsletter from Joanna and The Agitators each Wednesday, right here.
With Warmth, Jivey Vibes, and Deep Gratitude to YOU:
Your continued readership, dedication, and inquiry keep me asking the hard questions.
Thank you for that.
xo Joanna of Joanna and The Agitators sweetly agitating/persistently upending www.joannaandtheagitators.com