The Sky Inside

I’m making a dance film with Julie Rooney of Dancing Camera.

We started filming last week.

I’m calling it The Sky Inside, ‘cause that’s what if feels like when I dance these days — that the sky is inside.

The wide open space above and below.

The ocean that never ends.

The bounty of that.

There’s been a bit of a snarl, and I’m sure there will be more before the project is done.

Mostly in my head, the snarl. 

The knot.

The tight fear that maybe I shouldn’t.

Who am I to make a film?

Of what? people say.

The sky, I say.

But why? people say.

The sky, I say.

For whom? people say.

For me, I say.

And for you.  

For those who don't see themselves as beautiful, and for those who do.

For those who revel in the pleasure of being in a body, and for those who don't know that that is an option.

The snarl gets tighter, but as Julie and I email back and forth about this and that, the snarl loosens and I forget that it is there.

We, Julie and I, arrive early to class and tape up these big round aluminum things at one end of the room to reflect or bounce light I think she said, but I don’t really know.

Julie’s using a hand held camera for now, so that she can move with us, find her way underneath with us, travel through and possibly disappear borders of body/earth/air/each other with us. 

She’s coming to Costa Rica to film

(did I tell you I’m taking a group of 13 dancers to Costa Rica in November for a dance intensive? We're staying at a swanky hippy eco-resort on the Caribbean side, where we'll dance all day, get fed good food throughout, and take walks on the beach and in the rainforest...whaaaat?? I know, I'm really excited....!!!!)

so that she can capture the form, sensation, and relationships that emerge over and over again as the dancers follow what is most pleasing to them -- over and over again.

Not what I find pleasing.

Not what the funders/curators/choosers/holders find pleasing.

But what the dancers find pleasing. 

Dancing exactly how and as they want, listening closely to their curiosity and following their pleasure.

The Sky Inside.